It Is Bug Season

I will start from the beginning.....

This afternoon in the living room, the boys thought it would be a good idea to take off their shirts and throw them up into the air. By the time they responded to my attempts to get them to stop, Jack's shirt had gotten stuck on the nonmoving ceiling fan. I figured I would get it later and went about my business for the afternoon.

That night after watching the season premiere of Survivor, we moved on to an episode of MasterChef that we had recorded earlier. During a commercial break, Glenn went outside to smoke, leaving me in charge of pausing the show when it came back on. As I sat and let the commercials play through, the cat caught my eye. She was batting something around on the floor, and I watched as she perched on a case of bottled water, and then in a very Jackie Chan-like manner, rolled smoothly off the case and onto the floor to take another swing at her prey. Now, I HATE bugs, and we have a rash of absolutely huge, disgusting roaches in our house lately because we live in Pensacola, FL. Lucky me, this is what she was batting around. I sat on the couch, terrified and trying not to hyperventilate, with my hands over my mouth and my toes curled up, glancing continuously at the back door to see when Glenn would be coming in. The cat stopped to stare at me as if I was the funniest thing she had ever seen. Glenn came in then, cleaned up the (hopefully) dead monster bug, and we resumed the show. At the next commercial break, Glenn got up to take the dog out and asked if I would put his sneakers away in the front closet. I picked up the shoes and headed towards the closet, flicking the numerous switches by the front door to find the right light. After putting away the shoes and closing the closet door, I turned around in time to see something ENORMOUS fly through the air and land in our large living room chair. I screamed and screamed and flew halfway up the stairs, away from the monster that had flown across our living room. I stood halfway up the steps where I could see the living room but was far enough away from the chair (I hoped), as Glenn ran in the back door, thinking from my screaming that someone was breaking into the house. When I told him it was "merely" a bug, he went back out to finish with the dog before coming in to take care of it. As I stood there on the steps scared out of my wits and looking over the living room, I became aware of 2 things: The living room fan was on, and there was a small shirt crumpled up on the floor in front of the living room chair. What I had seen flying through the air was no roach, it was a little, size 3T shirt that had been thrown off the fan as it reached max speed. As I stood there laughing harder than I have in a while, I wondered how mad Glenn would be over the fact that I had screamed bloody murder over a little red shirt. When he came back in, I still maintained that he look over the chair just to be sure, and sure enough, there was nothing there.

This will serve as a reminder to me in the future to remove all articles of clothing from ceiling fans, especially during bug season.